woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He better not be in your backpack
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
