I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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