He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
