I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
