guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
