i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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