She announced her abortion via fbk
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
