your thong is hanging out like whoa
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you win again, gameday.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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