he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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