stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
