On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
