Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
