Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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