It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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