My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
