my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
