some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
