you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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