Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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