I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
