I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
