I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
