Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
it's like iHOP with fire
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
