I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
