so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
