I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
