She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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