Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
