moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
