im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
