I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
