Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He passed out mid-signature
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
