i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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