He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize