office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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