I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Let's get the cat blown out
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize