Nicole vs. Life
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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