It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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