okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize