tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
