He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
