just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
