i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
