That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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