Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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