just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
