how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
