I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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