i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
