So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
