I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
