piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
