I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
